Hillary!

Hillary Rodham Clinton for U. S. Senate Committee, Inc.
450 Seventh Ave., Suite 804
New York, NY 10123

Hillary!

May I call you Hillary! as your close supporters do? Thank you so much for the opportunity to contribute to your New York senatorial campaign even though I live in California, which, I must admit, is closer than Bejing.

Your victory would be a real milestone along the road to equality for women, differently-abled Americans, and minorities. It would establish that a woman can accept bribes, lie, ride roughshod over the sensibility of most Americans that health care is compatible with capitalism, and succeed in politics just as well as a man. You may not have considered this, but you are also an American with a disability, because you are co-dependent with a mildly psychopathic sex addict. And ever since your husband was identified as America's first black President, you can claim to be part of an interracial couple – every bit as much as you are a New Yorker!

Therefore, in support of your quest for political power in your own right, please find enclosed my contribution of two US cents in coin. I realize that your campaign must make a good faith effort to obtain my name and mailing address before accepting my contribution, but I really don't want to be audited, and I'm sure your staff can overcome any controlling legal authority that might stand between them and the lifeblood of your campaign. Please excuse me for not using the response envelope included with your letter. I am keeping your original bulk mailing complete with all enclosures in expectation of the moment they become collectible antiques.

I would be glad to contribute more to your campaign in future, if I can do so by buying cookies, and especially if you are televised baking some of them yourself.

Sincerely,

Name Withheld to Avoid Audit
Contributor to the Tax Surplus