Every election cycle DOGPAC campaigns for causes and candidates that break the rules of traditional boring politics, who set precedents by their mere existence on the political stage, who inspire our awe if not our affection, who have the chutzpah to be themselves. Forthwith, we resoundingly endorse
For President of the United States of America:
Ralph Nader!Realistically, we have a choice between George W. Bush, a good ol' boy, and John F. Kerry, a middle-class pretender. Quite frankly, what Thomas L. Friedman calls "The Golden Straight-Jacket" is on the US and every other country that participates in the new Global Economy. If your actions deviate much from what Friedman's "Electronic Herd" of global investors wants, investment capital flies out of your country, and your country becomes poorer, if not actually poor. In other words, political and economic constraints being what they are, the differences between what these two gentlemen will actually do (as opposed to what they say) is rather small, in the scheme of things. Each will be forced to do some things he would rather not do, and each will not be able to do some things he would like to do, and has even promised to do. The Global War on Terror will continue. So will stem cell research. Et cetera.
Besides, VCBC endorses candidates it can make fun of, and we find neither of these gentlemen particularly funny. So we give you this message: Despite the politics and rhetoric of accentuating small differences, it is more important that the election be freely, fairly, and transparently held, than it is for either candidate to win. Those who think otherwise should disqualify themselves from working at polling places, counting ballots, or having anything to do with the election other than possibly voting in it, if they are registered to do so.
So what has this got to do with good ol' Ralph? He isn't even on the ballot in most states. Well, the other two guys do not break the rules of traditional boring politics (allegations of voter fraud on the part of the Democrats and voter intimidation on the part of the Republicans are boring, sorry). Ralph, on the other hand, is entertaining in his hang-dog, depressive-intellectual sort of way. Even though we think he is "unsafe at any speed" as a potential Captain of our ship of state, we're glad he provides an informative sideshow, both when he's right and when he's wrong. Go for it, Ralph. Pee on the toes of your opponents. Good boy!
