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Blind Chihuahua

More to religion
than pleasing
your imaginary friend

Every election cycle DOGPAC campaigns for causes and candidates that break the rules of traditional boring politics, who set precedents by their mere existence on the political stage, who inspire our awe if not our affection, who have the chutzpah to be themselves. Forthwith, we resoundingly endorse:

For President of the United States of America:

Al Gore
Albert Gore, Jr.

Why? Because Al Gore is Superman!
Who else is able to

raise tall cash piles from a single buddhist monastery

drain a reservoir for a single environmental photo-op

inspire us with phrases like, "no controlling legal authority"

get away with imitating Jesse Jackson badly in front of the NAACP

spend 8 years proudly serving his country by "strengthing Bill Clinton's hand"

get good press while picking up a fallen power line after an ice-storm

But most of all, we admire Al's ability to change like a chameleon to match his electoral background:

When in Tenessee... When in DC...
1984 — "It is my deep personal conviction that abortion is wrong. ... Let me assure you that I share your belief that innocent human life must be protected..." 1998 — "Every time Congress has tried to play politics with a woman's right to choose — imposing gag rules and attaching anti-choice language to any bill they can think of — we have fought to stop them."
1984 — NRA Institute for Legislative Action writes, "Since being elected to Congress in 1976 Al Gore has been there each and every time sportsmen and gun owners have needed a friend." 1999 — "I want to overturn the influence of the gun lobby."
Bilingual Education
1981 — "The English language is at the core of the American culture. ... Anything wich requires our schools to delay the all-important process of learing the language of their new country serves only to set up additional barriers for the immigrant child." 1999 — "Some will exploit the issue of bilingual education for political gain. I believe we must support bilingual education for educational gain."
China Trade Status
1992 — "We totally disagree with Bush and Quayle when they continue to grant most-favored-nation status to one of the worst Communist dictatorships remaining in the world, with a record of human-rights violations as long as your arm, ignoring their unfair trade practices." 2000 — "I have stood strongly for normal trade relations with China. I reaffirm that support today."
1988 — "Throughout most of my life I raised tobacco. I want you [tobacco farmers] to know that with my own hands, all of my life, I put it in plant beds and transferred it. I've hoed it, I've dug it, I've sprayed it, I've chopped it, Ive shredded it, spiked it, put it in the barn and stripped it, and sold it." 1996 — Speaking of his sister's 1984 death of lung cancer, Gore says," And that is why until I draw my last breath, I will pour my heart and soul into the cause of protecting our children from smoking."
Campaign Finance Reform
1984 — "I'm a strong supporter of PAC participation in the political process. 2000 — "In that first term in Congress, I began an effort to persuade my colleagues and my constituents that as long as special interest money controls campaign funding, the public interest will suffer."
Gay Rights
1981 — "I think [homosexuality] is wrong. I don't pretend to understand it, but it is not just another normal optional lifestyle." 1998 — "It is an outrage today, in 1998, that in 40 states of our union, it is 100% legal to fire a hard-working employee, just because they [sic] are gay or lesbian."
*For details see the National Review, August 14, 2000

We're glad Al has seen the light. And it inspires our confidence that if we change our minds, he'll change his. We're sure he will maintain a federal judiciary, Department of Justice, and Internal Revenue Service that impartially protect his friends and attack his enemies. Finally, we admire his executive style, which, does not build consensus, but evades our system of checks and balances, in our own best interest of course. Always. And never partisan. Well, hardly ever. He's learned that much from his master. Actually, he's learned more. His past is mutable - he invented the internet, inspired a song, and so much more...

See also: George W. Bush and Al Gore