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Blind Chihuahua

More to religion
than pleasing
your imaginary friend

Dear President Chirac,

We stand at a crossroads of historical development. As the United States confronts Iraq in a time honored standoff between school yard bullies, you hold the key to the evolution of principled action and the resolution of a rising historical conundrum.

Fate has dealt you the chance to show the world what the French have always known; war has only two justifications: principle and glory. You believe that war on Iraq is unjust therefore you should not stand idly by as American forces march on Baghdad. France should uphold principle and remember the stand of Roland along the Pyrennees. For principle and glory, you should commit the Foreign Legion to the last defense of Baghdad. This would be the act of a principled nation dedicated to the proposition that no power, not even a superpower, can, without the support of the UN security council, invade a sovereign state. If the United States truly wants to oust Saddam Hussein they should be forced to taste French glory and march through the blood of modern French heroes.

Committing the Legion to the last defense of Baghdad is not only an act of principle. It is a reminder to the world of the pride and glory for which the Legion stands. Since the siege of Dien Bien Phu the Legion has had no opportunity for a glorious final defense. There has been no fight to the last man: no fitting tribute to the memory of Camerone and that heroic, if empty, sacrifice for Maximillian of Mexico. There has been no fight for hopeless honor in shifting Algerian sands. There has been no Legionnaire with the glory of Second Lieutenant Maudet, setting his bayonet and charging 2000 Mexican infantry accompanied only by a dozen comrades.

History made the Legion great, but for almost half a century it has stood idly by as upstarts from across the Atlantic usurped the claim as the finest fighting unit in the world. While the Legion passively covered the last retreat of French Imperialism the Green Berets have triumphantly advanced the cause of American Capitalism. From the shores of Vera Cruz to the mountains of Afghanistan Green Berets with their faithful sidekicks, the Army Rangers, have pushed further into the history books. Today, many wonder whether the Legion remains relevant, and more importantly, they confuse the Legion’s heroism with the naked ambition of American machismo. This is an assault on French honor that you shold not accept. The Legion must have their chance to show that they can stand alone before the might of a super power and acquit themselves with the honor of their forebears who died on Berber sabers or Mexican bayonets.

The Legion should teach American special forces how dearly men sell their blood, and take them to where the Iron Crosses grow. Too long have the Green Berets overwhelmed untrained guerillas and ill-equipped communist hordes. The time has come for them to prove that they are more than modern counterfeits fighting with the fortune of technical superiority. They should learn that glory is birthed when nameless men face hopeless odds in defense of foreign lands. The Green Berets should feel the bite of Maudet’s bayonet and taste the heroism of Camerone.

For the Legion the time has come to show new generations that French honor did not die with Roland on the slopes of the Pyrennes. For more than a millenium heroism has wreathed the myth of France and the tradition of Roland breathes with every Foreign Legionnaire.

Let France stand again for international principle. Let the conundrum of heroic greatness find resolution in the alleys of Baghdad. Let the Legion drown American upstarts in their own blood and teach them how men die for a cause they do not understand and a nation they do not know!

President Chirac, I implore you. Unleash the Legion!

R. St. Germain
Son and Grandson to Legionnaires

Bloody hell, is he serious?